11th day of Ramadan

>Ramadan has so far been the best month of fasting I have had in my life. I feel that when I was younger, I didn’t the same sense of purpose as I do now. I know why I am fasting this time around. And I am also ensuring that my fast is accurate. No food. No drink. No gossiping (this is very hard). No touching my boyfriend (this is so so so hard, believe me). I am doing it, mostly.

I hope that some time in the future, like next Ramadan I can pray on a daily basis like I am supposed to. But I should not rush, not be hasty, and take it easy.

Many lessons, that I am learning.

I wil never take for granted the touch of someone that I care about. After 12 days of not receiving their touch, I have developed a sense of empathy for a life without touch from a person close to your heart. Touch is something I have taken for granted. We are immunized and forget the astounding power and healing that a single touch can grant.

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Tolerance. I must be more tolerant with the people I care for, as well as those I don’t. That is for my own sake. It will help me to find peace with society as it stands today.

Not being tolerant is due to a sense of self-entitlement to the way things we wish for them to be. Not being tolerant is due to a lack of understanding, or an unwillingness to learn something new, to understand something new. Not being tolerant is a result of privilege, that we should have things the way we want them, and that others shouldn’t fuck with our wish.

It is better to not always have what I want, like food or clothing or make up or a digital camera because it will teach me to be tolerant with myself, and with others. I will continue to learn how to not just tolerate a life where I don’t find satisfaction in getting what I want, but to find happiness in what I have.

I should read always. I don’t know much of anything, and the world is propositioning me to learn. It is making everything and anything available for me. What a fool I would be to settle with only what I have inherited, rather than invest in myself on my own merits. Inheriting information is much different than investing in information.

I continue to learn and grow, and for that I am thankful.

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