Only the Dynamic, Change

On my way to Paris, circa 2011.It is in the natural course of life that we are introduced to the force which is “change”. We learn that change is not in our control, as much as it is in our control. You can welcome change, fear it, or live in its own ambivalence. Sometimes change is unwelcome. Other times, we pray for a change to rescue us from an ambiguous existence.

Change is what we credit a larger spiritual or life force. Change is what we believe inherently exists in the universe, and renders us powerless in its existence. Change is what utters a sudden quake in what feels like a natural course of an average, happy, and intentional life. Change disguises itself as a miracle, a tragedy, a truth and a lie. Change threatens and promises us all a future, a plan, a hope.

I used to think that I loved change — it gave a thrill to my life and I trusted it. I have found comfort in change. It has forced me to take risks, to rise above, it has assaulted me and it has taken my consent. It has broken my heart. It has forced a truth into a lie, and forced the lie to grow strong enough and break through to the truth. Change has also provided a spiritual awakening, and has given me the courage to find the most beautiful love of my life. It is through the acceptance of circumstances, of yourself, that you find happiness and comfort in change.

Life events will always develop and retard — you can never predict what will manifest in life. This change, as much as you welcome, fear or don’t care will either meet you at the end of a long race, weaken you in the middle of it, or prevent you from running the race in the first place. It puts your existence in perspective. It puts you in your place.

This is why I say, only the dynamic will feel and accept the change that is serving you coffee, putting a ring on your finger, or crashing your car. Ignoring change as it’s happening, right before your eyes, will prevent you from moving forward and growing. You will create a rut, put yourself in it, and keep running in circles until you wake up. Because eventually, you will wake up and realize the regret of your neglect, because the change has grown beyond the bounds of your understanding — it will feel insurmountable. It will be staring at you in the face and shaking you awake. When it is done with you it will drop your listless body wherever it may fall, leaving you to your own circumstances. Sometimes it will throw you back in the rut until you learn your lesson. 

It’s a criminal, change. It’s resilient, and will fight back against your ignorance and resistance. It will rattle your life and run away leaving you in your own devastation, confusion or lust — until the next time.

But change is on it’s own timeline, and it’s beauty is in its independence and intuition. It can be in your control, some times. It all depends on the universe you perceive around you. Change is as expansive and limiting as you hope it will be.

There are times when you can desire, pray for and seek out change — and it may not emerge. Remember, it will emerge when it is ready. It will emerge when it decides that you are ready.