This morning, I was walking to my office in the usually noisy and crowded streets of Manhattan — le grind. Before crossing Park Avenue, I noticed a sign that was being used to cover the construction activity on the sidewalk. I was struck by the spray painted words on the sign that read “this moment is more precious than you think”.
It got me thinking. We go through life, doing what we have to do to survive, hoping for some pleasant surprises along the way, and pursuing the relationships most important to us. Our work — whatever that work may be, is a large part of our life’s production. Moment-to-moment decisions accumulate into the story of our life. As we become more and more concerned with our futures, we count down every single work week — ultimately counting down our lives.
It becomes increasingly more difficult to see the vast universe inside of ourselves. We have all experienced pain, and seek distance from it. We often accomplish this desired distance by nestling our vulnerabilities into inaccessible parts of our consciousness. We try to forget. We try to move on.
We are not perfect.
I am not perfect.
But you and I both know, seeking refuge and comfort in the present is truly impossible if we cannot heal. Not just healing from our past, but healing in the daily trauma’s of life. Maybe, the less sensitive will read this and say, “Daily trauma’s of life? That is hyperbolic.”
I can only speak for myself, as a tall Palestinian-American woman. I am reminded that it should be my sole focus to be smaller and smaller every day. I am required to look younger, prettier and sexier, everyday. I am judged by my outward appearance, my height, and my ethnicity. All that’s left is the privacy of my inner world; my dreams, emotions and thoughts. All that’s left are our thoughts that accompany each moment we encounter.
Everyday, is a trauma of soul — whether you let it be or not — and it is our healing process that allows us to recover for the next moment. Some are faster at healing than others. Some of us linger on moments that others do not.
Regardless, ‘this moment is more precious than you think’.
Healing requires acceptance and understanding of our actions, thoughts and desires. The sooner we can access this inner knowledge, the less psychological obstacles we encounter as we move moment to moment. We can seek a truth and resolve in our healing, and find a deeply sincere acceptance of ourselves within the moments that wash over us in life.
Moments, aggregated, are what makes a life — they are what make a marriage, friendship and career. Identifying the collective moments contextually, finding parallels in our actions and learning our humanity may or may not posit an evolutionary relationship or exchange with ourselves, with the earth and with our higher power. As much as it is human nature to evolve, it is also to stagnate.
Our stagnation may not be existential, necessarily. Stagnation, as I mentioned before, can occur within moments. It is the collection of these moments that create who we are and what we are in our lives.
I have felt stagnation this last year. And when I thought it was momentary, moments later I was still feeling stagnant. These moments, turned into days, months and now, a year.
Our moments do not always evolve.
Our life’s work does not always evolve.
Our relationships do not always evolve.
Our emotions do not always evolve.
But our thoughts, our thoughts do evolve. A single thought, as I was reminded last night and this morning, is a single moment. A thought can create many moments.
This summer will mark an evolution in thought, for me. Hence, the resurrection of this blog. I have been finding inspiration all over New York City — and in my living room book shelf in my tiny New York one-bedroom with my geriatric cat and my wonderful husband. My time has come to once again turn it up.
What will this summer mark for you?